Safeguard Your Relationship With Your Child!
Discover the Share Peace Parenting Philosophy:
My Approach to Raising Kids.
I embrace a relationship-based, scientifically grounded approach to parenting. My philosophy draws from the wisdom of Dr. Laura Markham, Dr. Lawrence Cohen, Dr. Dan Siegel, and many other leaders in child development and neuroscience. By focusing on nervous system regulation, deep connection, and playful engagement, I guide parents to foster secure, resilient, and joyful relationships with their children. Together, we'll explore what comes up for you as you look within, and we will discuss techniques rooted in attachment theory, developmental science, and mindfulness, with your goal of creating a nurturing environment where both you and your child can thrive.
To learn more about the foundational principles of peaceful parenting and playful parenting, please read the sections below. Let's embark on this journey of growth and connection together.
What is Peaceful Parenting?
​Peaceful Parenting was pioneered by my mentor, Dr Laura Markham, Clinical Psychologist, Parenting Coach and founder of AhaParenting.com, author of the world ​renowned books "Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids", Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings" and "The Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids Workbook."
Peaceful Parenting, also known as authoritative parenting, is grounded in contemporary neuroscience and in attachment research. It is a relationship-based approach that cultivates a secure attachment and, therefore, guides children to be the best version of themselves, instead of controlling them with rewards and punishment into compliance.​ In order to do this successfully, the parent needs to be able to manage their own emotions so they can meet the child's challenging behavior with presence and connection. ​
The Three Big Ideas that emerge, therefore, from decades of scientific research as instrumental in the optimal development of children into resilient, self-driven, self-disciplined, considerate adults who experience emotional and physical wellbeing are:
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Parental Self-Regulation and Presence
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Connection between parent and child
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Coaching instead of controlling and creating an environment where the children can thrive. ​
​Let's briefly explore each Big Idea!
Self- Regulate
We set the emotional tone in our homes, and what we feel colors everything we do like a lens; managing our emotions is what allows us to feel peaceful in our parenting.
Also, children learn to manage their emotions when we model it for them.
To self-regulate means to connect to ourselves in the present moment, becoming aware of what we are feeling, what we are sensing, what we are thinking, and then pausing and choosing to respond rather than yell, threaten or punish in difficult parenting moments.
This is the hardest work and the most valuable work we can gift our children. It is a life-long practice that takes fierce intention and a lot of love.
Howvever, it will get easier the more we apply the research-based tools and strategies to create more peace in our life and in our relationship with our children.
Connect
We cannot parent or lead our children if we do not have their heart.
Connection with our children is the joy in parenting because it strengthens our relationship with them and creates those delightful moments of resonance, that are deeply nourishing for both our children as well as for ourselves.
Mother Nature designed children to resist us or to become oppositional when they feel disconnected from us.. That is our clue to reconnect or parenting becomes exhausting.
Truth is...we can't change or control others. They can only choose to accept our guidance if they feel deeply connected to us, loved, understood and valued in their authenticity; that's when they trust that our guidance is for their benefit and care to hear what we think.
Coach instead of control
We support our children to meet our age appropiate expectations: we accept all their emotions, we limit challenging behavior from an emotionally generous place, and we support them to develop mastery. When we use empathetic firm limits, children understand that, even though they may not get what they want, there is nothing they can do to threaten the bond they have with us and they rest secure in our love.
Children need guidance, orientation and loving firm boundaries to grow into adults who have self-discipline and an inner moral compass to choose to do the right thing even when no one is looking. In contrast, research shows that punishment creates more negative behavior and teaches children to focus on avoiding punishment, even becoming more skilled at not getting caught, rather than to consider the moral aspect of their actions.
What matters most:
Stay connected and never withdraw your love,
even for a moment. The deepest reason kids cooperate is that they love you and want to please you. Above all, safeguard your relationship with your child.
That's your only leverage to have any influence on your child.
It's what your child needs most.
And that closeness is what makes all the sacrifices of parenting worth it.
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Dr. Laura Markham
What is Playful
Parenting?
At the heart of my approach to parenting also lies the philosophy inspired by Lawrence Cohen’s “The Garden of Growth.” This method embraces the idea that every child holds the seeds of their own solutions within themselves. Our role as parents is to create the optimal conditions for these seeds to flourish. Together, the peaceful and playful parenting approaches create a nurturing environment where your child’s potential can blossom beautifully.
Below is a glimpse into the core elements of my playful parenting model: Connection, Look Within, Gentle Push
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Connection
Just like plants thrive in rich, nourishing soil, children grow best when they feel connected. Building strong, loving relationships is the foundation of their development.
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Look Within
Parents are encourages to “look within” by exploring their own emotions and triggers. When we take a playful approach with our children, it’s not just about helping them process their feelings, but also about tuning into our own inner world. Playfulness gives us a chance to notice our reactions - whether it’s frustration, impatience, or worry - and shift them with lightness and connection. By looking within, we can respond from a place of empathy, helping both ourselves and our children move through difficult emotions with a sense of joy and trust.
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Gentle Push
Emotions need to flow freely like gentle rain for healthy growth. When problem behaviors arise, they signal a need for better garden conditions. A gentle push, through playful and supportive guidance, can help parents and children navigate emotions and behaviors.
All play is more profoundly meaningful than we usually think. First, play is a way to try on adult roles and skills, just as lion cubs do when they wrestle with one another. Human children roughhouse, and they play house. As children discover the world, and discover what they are able to do in the world, they develop confidence and mastery.
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Dr. Lawrence Cohen
Share Peace Parenting -
the Practice ...
... is an invitation, an intention, a choice we make everyday for our family: to take care of our own heart, to find an inner sense of peace with what is, and to let that peace flow effortlessly toward those we love the most in the world, pouring into their hearts to nourish them and to help them feel seen, safe, soothed, and unconditionally loved.
... is not an unrealistic expectation or another high standard that we can never attain. It is an act of love in itself for ourselves and others and ultimately the world.
... is deciding how we want to be as we parent and to willingly and continuously try to remember that intention, as well as to treat ourselves with compassion (when we fall short), to repair, and to try again, entrusting ourselves to the flow.​
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... is to tune in to what is present for you now. Noting/sensing feeling what has moved or shifted. Maybe tuning in to The Five point check in: mind, body, breath, emotions, energy
Then ourselves: WHAT DO I NEED RIGHT NOW TO SHOW UP AS THE PARENT I WANT TO BE?, and to commit to ourselves to fulfill that need for safety, belonging, dignity.
Real strength can be found not in power, money, or weapons, but in deep, inner peace. When we have enough insight, we are not caught by many difficult situations anymore.
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Thich Nhat Hanh
The Share Peace Parenting Manifesto:
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We are the best parents for our children and we know best what our children need.
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We are all imperfect humans doing the best we can, with what we know, and when we know better we do better...especially when we can incorporate in our parenting the growing body of knowledge in brain science and human-development.
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We are all good inside even when we act unskillfully and act from a place that does not align with who we want to be and how we want to show up in the world; we need the force of self-compassion to rediscover our goodness.
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Even though what happened to us in childhood is shaping our reactivity in parenting, with intentional work, somatic opening, and self-compassion we can reparent ourselves, with presence and somatic awareness we can rewire our brain, and with purposeful somatic practices and self-care we can continuously move toward meeting our needs for safety, belonging and dignity, becoming the parents we want to be and aligning with our vision.
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Making mistakes is human and we are worthy of love even when we act unskillfully
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We take responsibility for our unskillful behavior and repair relationship ruptures and we will try to do better next time.
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We make time to nourish our body, mind and soul because we cannot pour from an empty cup.
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We practice taking in the good, celebrating even the smallest wins, and maybe even trusting ourselves on this parenting journey.
