Summer often brings movement...of bodies, of schedules, of hearts. For many of us, that movement includes traveling to see family… the very people and places that shaped us.

And if you’re someone doing the inner work, learning to parent differently than you were parented, visiting family can feel like walking into a room lined with old mirrors. Suddenly, you may feel smaller. Quieter. Sharper-edged. Or, maybe… just deeply tender.

A hand gently brushes through tall, sunlit grass in a serene field, capturing a moment of tranquility and connection with nature as the warm glow of the sunset fills the horizon.

Recently, I returned to my homeland of Romania—a place layered with meaning for me. I grew up under the shadows of both communist and post-communist culture, where survival often meant staying small, keeping quiet, and never asking for too much.

There was so much love in my family… and also so many unspoken wounds. My parents did the best they could in a time of fear, scarcity, and enormous pressure. And still, my body carries the shaping of that era—tightness around the truth, fear around boundaries, tenderness around being seen.

This time, I returned different.

Through years of somatic practice and emotional integration, I now know how to stay in my body even when I’m in familiar places. I know how to feel the old pain without becoming it. I know how to respond with compassion without collapsing my truth.

If you’re traveling this summer (to your hometown, your in-laws’ kitchen, or just back into an old emotional pattern) I want to offer you five gentle reminders from my own journey. I hope they support you in staying rooted, soft, and sovereign in yourself.

5 Gentle Reminders for Visiting Family for Cycle-Breakers (When You’re Doing the Inner Work)

1. Accept your parents for who they are...and be kind to yourself.

Some part of us may still long for our parents to change, to become who we needed. And while some do, others may never be able to. Your job is not to fix them. Your job is to care for your own heart. Honor what’s true. And offer yourself the love you’ve always deserved.

2. Forgiveness isn’t a requirement, but compassion might set you free.

Some wounds run deep. You don’t have to rush to forgive. But often, it’s not about them. It’s about you not having to carry the pain forever. If you can begin to meet your own pain with compassion, that’s already a radical act of freedom.

3. You get to become the parent you needed.

This is the most courageous work: reparenting yourself while you parent your child. Giving yourself the voice, the safety, the understanding you never had. You may never receive the apology you deserve...but you can still give yourself the healing you long for.

4. Everyone is doing the best they can...with what they’ve been given.

That doesn’t mean their best was “good enough.” It just means it was theirs. When we start seeing our own imperfections with softness, we may also begin to understand the limitations of those who came before us. That understanding can make space for grief and peace.

5. You are part of something bigger.

You’re not just parenting. You’re breaking cycles. You’re shifting consciousness. You are the bridge between generations. And that matters. You may hear “we didn’t do it like that when we raised your husband”… and you can smile, and gently say, “I know. And now it’s my turn.”

If Your Inner Child is Struggling…

Sometimes, returning to the places that shaped us can feel like time travel.

Our adult self might be sipping tea at the kitchen table, but our inner child is back in the room, holding her breath.

Waiting to be scolded.

Longing to be seen.

Feeling the old fear of doing it wrong.

If this is happening for you, you’re not alone.

And there’s nothing wrong with you.

This is how memory lives in the body.

Here are a few gentle questions to help you meet yourself in that space, with kindness and curiosity:

• What part of me feels most vulnerable in this space or relationship right now?

• What did I need then that I can offer myself now?

• Am I speaking to this moment from my adult self, or from the child I once was?

• What boundary, affirmation, or truth would bring me closer to safety or authenticity right now?

• If my inner child could speak, what would they say? Can I let them know I’m here now?
  

These are not questions to fix or analyze.

Just doorways into compassion.

Sometimes just asking them opens space in the nervous system for something new.

Somatic Practice: Finding Safety in the Now

When you feel that old pull...into fear, collapse, resentment, or hyper-vigilance—try this gentle practice to anchor yourself in the present moment:

"Here, Now, Safe” – A Grounding Ritual

1. Feel your feet

Sit or stand with both feet planted on the ground. Gently press them down. Wiggle your toes. Notice the support underneath you.

2. Find 3 things around you that feel safe enough, comforting, or neutral

Maybe it’s a patch of sunlight, the texture of your jeans, a tree outside the window. Let your eyes rest there. Let your body receive the signal: “I’m here. I’m now. I’m safe enough in this moment.”

3. Place one hand on your heart, one on your belly

Feel your own warmth. allow yourself to receive it. You might say softly (in your mind or aloud):

“This is hard… and I am here now.”

“I’m allowed to have boundaries.”

“I belong to myself.”

“I’m not alone.”

4. Let your breath arrive

A gelte invitation to notice if you try to control it, and then maybe let it be...just to notice it. Maybe let the exhale be just a little longer. Maybe even a soft sigh.

5. Invite your inner child close

If it feels right, imagine the younger version of you beside you.

You don’t have to fix her. Just let her know: I see you. You’re not alone in this anymore.

You don’t have to do this perfectly.

You don’t have to get through the visit without moments of overwhelm or shutdown.

That is the work: learning to come back to yourself with kindness, again and again.

You are not the child anymore.

But they still live in you.

And now....you have them.